3 years have gone by and our lives are not the same. Every day I think of you and wish you were here. Every night I tell you, I love and miss you and wish I could hug you tight. Every family occassion is always incomplete, all wishing you were taking part. Every time something triggers a memory. I wish I could go back in a time machine. Every Birthday, Anniversary and Xmas without you gets harder. I wish you had given us chance to help. Every day I am full of regret and sadness. That my lovely, fun and caring son got that low and didn't want us to know. You and us have missed out on so much. Losing you was never in my future hopes and dreams. You could never of been a burden. You never made us feel any shame. You were never seen as a failure. You had no reason to carry any guilt. I was proud to be your mum. All these things were in your head but they weren't true at all. You were ill and needed help and time. Not a final curtain call 😭